I’ve been thinking about one word for over a month now. I had no idea what that word was, but I was trying to think of one. A word to help me through this year. A few bloggers have mentioned Betz White talking about a word to help “define” the year and guide you through. I didn’t know what my word would be. I saw other’s words and felt very inspired by them and that they would be great words for me. But I wanted a word that was all my own, one that really spoke to me this year, a word that pushed me beyond what I already knew I needed, was or wanted.
Today I was sitting on the couch, eating half of a tuna sandwich, my first food of the day at two in the afternoon, flipping through channels and settling on a Nora Robert’s book made into a Lifetime movie, when it hit me. I was giving myself permission to sit on the couch, eat and watch something mindless. It’s not something I really ever do. Usually I always have something to be working on and never give myself time to just sit and relax and enjoy. I’ve slowly been giving myself permission to take time off these past few weeks. Brice and I are alone together most afternoons and evenings and there is something about it being dark out that has me wanting to be in the same room with him. It’s hard because most of what I need to do is in another room, and not really a room he is wanting to be in. How can I not drop everything when he pats my spot on the couch, right next to his, and says “Mommy, you come sit right here and watch TV with me.”
We have a routine of having movies on in the evening, when he’s a little more mellow and not as active with his toys. He’s usually woken from a late nap and a little cranky and I find just having him sit and wake up is just what he needs. So I find myself preparing a hot drink, grabbing the iPad and sitting with him, watching a movie we’ve already seen a dozen times that week alone, giving myself permission because he’s only this age once, and all too soon he might not want to sit and cuddle with mom, watching movies. I’m coming to realize more and more every day that Brice will probably be my only child, so I have to enjoy it all even more. Not just because my time with him at each stage is limited, but my time with a child of my own at each stage is just as limited.
So my word for this year is permission. I am giving myself permission to do the things I want, be with those I love and take care of myself. All too often I feel the pull to be in too many places at once doing too much. I won’t be able to stop all of that, this year is shaping up to be a busy year, but I will give myself permission to take a little time off each day to recharge. I will stop feeling like I have to fill every minute of every hour with something productive and instead give myself leave to just sit and relax for awhile.
24 comments:
This post just made me sigh with relief. I spent most of 2010 feeling guilty because I never gave myself permission to just sit on the couch and grieve the loss of a close friend. With all the creativity going on in blogland, I was overcome with feelings of inadequacy and guilt because I wasn't accomplishing anything. I was just sitting on the couch because I didn't have creative/emotional/physical energy for anything else. Except guilt. "Permission" is the perfect word. Thanks so much for sharing this post.
Lovely. I rarely sit. I have stacks of magazines all nicely displayed on my coffee table that I never read. I have books piled on my bedside table that I'm too tired to read when I hit the pillow and more WIP's than I care to admit. "Permission" is great. Glad to hear you are giving yourself some!
I have pressure from myself and from a few others to always be "productive." I'm trying to remind myself that sitting with my son when he wants me to sit with him at watch a movie (he's 3) really is productive. It's helping him grow, and adding to his sense of self. It tells him that he is important enough to me. It is hard to get past that feeling that I should be doing something "productive", though, even when I try to tell myself that it is.
Such a great thing to remember. I could definitely use some giving myself permission to just relax and take it easy and do NOTHING for a few minutes.
There are few things better than connecting with our children. Why is it that that becomes so clear AFTER they go to sleep? LOL.
I hear ya. I could have written every single word of this post.
Good for you!
I have an only child too and I need to give myself "permission" too:) Smiles to you:):)
i love your word for the year. it's absolutely brilliant and such an important thing to remember that the expectations on our lives should come from within and that sometimes it's even better to have no expectations. you're going to have an awesome year!
That is a great word. And even if you do have another child you will never have this time with Brice again. It is good to relish these times of cuddles and live. They are what will get you through the daily challenges of life.
so lovely. i spent a Saturday just reading a novel for the first time in years yesterday. it was the perfect way to relax yet i had to convince myself it was okay not to be working or crafting. best wishes for following through on the permission this year.
Lovely post. Its great to realise what your guiding word or plan is for the upcoming months isn't it? Mine is simply 'sewing'! I've spent way too long hoarding fabric & procrastinating about sewing!!!
Lovely sentiment and definitely something I work on too.
This is a good word. It goes with my word: "intentional." If I use my time wisely, I can better give myself permission to do the things I want to do... because there will be time to do that stuff! Thank you for this post!
I love everything about this post. I can totally relate to this...
This is a great post darling! I think most of us need to give ourselves "permission" sometimes; I often find myself feel guilty when I'm just sitting on the couch watching TV and reading blogs, etc. But frankly, I really need to get over that! We all deserve a little down time to just recharge and let the creative juices build themselves up again unhindered! You go girl!
Just found you via another blog.
I love this post.
It's so on target.
I love your word, and I'm glad you found one that fits YOU. :)
What a thoughtful post! I, too, have read others' posts about a guiding word for the year-- permission is a great one! Congrats to you for figuring it out!! I think your post inspired me to come up with a word for me: mindful. Thank you!! I also have a 3 yr old son (and an 8 yr old daughter) and they're on vacation this week-- we've been playing lots of Thomas and train tracks!!
Thank you, also, for your post on Photography 101-- very, very helpful!! (The tungsten/white light thing especially!). I also really liked reading in your "about me" section-- about not being afraid to try new things and just do it!! That's a good reminder for me!!
So thanks for all the inspiration and wisdom!!
May you have a "permission"-filled year!!
I love this post. You are talking to me here too. I have a part of me that feels like I am sleeping on the job if I am not busy all day long. Why? We do indeed need to give ourselves permission to enjoy who and what we love. May your year be wonderful and full of inspiration during your quiet moments.
Yea for you! I LOVE that word and it is soooo critical that WE give ourselves permission for luxuries. Seems as though women, especially mothers,are pretty bad at doing this!
Hello, I'm still at work, it's 6p.m. and I'm eating a bad industrial salad because I hadn't the time to eat something better before... and I do agree with you. And your son.
This word is precious; keep it for a long time, and not only for this year!
Have a nice day, Tiziana from Italy
wow I am totally feeling the need for that word now ;-) Always filling every moment with something I HAVE to do... perfect reminder to take some time to reflect and recharge. great idea
love your word, and you deserve it!!! I've been giving myself lots of permission to lay around and watch tv. ha
I love that word. You can feel yourself relax just by saying it. I know I am busy too. I have three kids, I'm in nursing school, and I love to quilt. The quilting always gets pushed aside, far too often. Sometimes I give myself permission (although, I've never called it that) to not clean, not do homework, and sometimes not even quilt. But to sit with a cup of coffee on the couch and watch TV shows on the DVR. We all need to give ourselves permission to take "me time."
I don't have a child but I do have to active dogs, which I understand it's not a child. But I feel a pull as well with them. So I am going to take your word of the year and use it as well. I want to give myself Permissin to work on sewing projects and not feel the dogs need to be doing something all the time, because they don't. Or the house needs to be always clean, because it doesn't.
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