Fun For One

There are times, when I stress myself out over nothing of great importance.  That’s how it works for me.  I stress about the small things, and let the big things figure themselves out.  Sometimes that seems a little backwards, or counter productive to me, but none-the-less, it’s how I work.  So it’s times like that we must grasp what we know, learn to work with it, and push on. 

This is how it goes with me and crafting.  The parts I love most, are often the parts that frustrate me the most.  Take quilting for example, I have recently come to terms with cutting out a new project as being my favorite part.  I think it’s all the math and the precision of the pieces.  Often times, it is also the part that frustrates me the most.  I invariably cut a piece wrong and never have enough fabric to complete my pieces.  Even when I buy more fabric than I need.  It’s the universes way of getting back at me.  I am doomed to always make a wrong cut and never have enough fabric. 

Another aspect of favorite vs. frustrating is the designing.  I love to design.  I’m constantly drawing up designs and figuring out the shapes and sizes, a lot of them never seeing the cutting board.  (One day I figure I’ll compile an ebook of all of those cast off projects.)  It also frustrates me to no end at times.  Drawing up a rough design and then having to bring it to scale.  It’s the brining it to scale part that is frustrating.  Nothing can ever be perfectly pieced, with perfect 1/4” increments.  Everything has to be like pulling teeth to make it fit and still work with the original design.  I don’t like change, even when it’s just a small rectangle on a project.  Because sometimes that small rectangle needing to be 1/16th of an inch bigger means redoing the entire piece!  Redoing the entire piece results in it going from a small wall hanging to a too-big-for-the-walls wall hanging. 

But there is a silver lining.  There is always a silver lining if you learn to find the positive in the negative.  Sometimes that “too-big-for-the-walls wall hanging” leads to a slightly altered, perfectly sized quilt for the couch. 

Suddenly the frustration becomes excitement.  You know the kind, where your whole body feels it.  A smile suddenly fills your face and your whole body relaxes because your frustrations have gone and the enjoyment of creating suddenly returns.

Of course life is all about cycles.  So invariably the frustrations will follow.  But at least this time it will be with the knowledge that there is always that silver lining.  You just have to be open to it and know it will follow.

The Next Step

I’ve been wanting to be a little more personal in this space for sometime now, but it has just never translated over.  For so long now life has been about keeping things inside, and for the most part I still will because that’s just the kind of person I am, but I do like the idea of showing you more of who I am and the person that ticks behind the creating.  I love getting to know a quilter, sewer, artist of any kind, on a more personal level.  I think getting to see more of who a person is beyond their craft allows you to have a better appreciation of what they create.  You feel more connected to that person and the effort they put into what they create. 

My whole blogging career has been about making my blog what I enjoy in other blogs, because that is what motivates me to continue to create and push myself to new limits.  As time goes on I find new things that interest me and motivate me and this is one of those “things” that has been on my mind for awhile.  I really enjoy getting to know someone, even if it’s just virtually in a blog.  I am a very personable kind of person and I like feeling connected to others.  I think that’s true of most people.  We like to know we’re not alone in the world. 

I have insecurities like everyone else, I am only human after all, but beyond those I am a very strong person and I am very proud of that, because it’s not something you come by naturally.  It’s something that you build within yourself.  I hide what bothers me and try and move beyond it and put a smile on my face.  I am not religious, but I am a big believer in Karma.  I live by the golden rules, such as ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’.  As much as I’d like to take shortcuts sometimes, I am honest to a fault and see it through each step of the way.  These are just little bits of who I am, but I hope to share more of myself this coming year as I post about everything I am creating, because this craft journal has become more than just a space to keep track and motivate, but a place to foster creativity in others and find new friends along the way.

My Word

I’ve been thinking about one word for over a month now.  I had no idea what that word was, but I was trying to think of one.  A word to help me through this year.  A few bloggers have mentioned Betz White talking about a word to help “define” the year and guide you through.  I didn’t know what my word would be.  I saw other’s words and felt very inspired by them and that they would be great words for me.  But I wanted a word that was all my own, one that really spoke to me this year, a word that pushed me beyond what I already knew I needed, was or wanted. 

Today I was sitting on the couch, eating half of a tuna sandwich, my first food of the day at two in the afternoon, flipping through channels and settling on a Nora Robert’s book made into a Lifetime movie, when it hit me.  I was giving myself permission to sit on the couch, eat and watch something mindless.  It’s not something I really ever do.  Usually I always have something to be working on and never give myself time to just sit and relax and enjoy.  I’ve slowly been giving myself permission to take time off these past few weeks.  Brice and I are alone together most afternoons and evenings and there is something about it being dark out that has me wanting to be in the same room with him.  It’s hard because most of what I need to do is in another room, and not really a room he is wanting to be in.  How can I not drop everything when he pats my spot on the couch, right next to his, and says “Mommy, you come sit right here and watch TV with me.” 

We have a routine of having movies on in the evening, when he’s a little more mellow and not as active with his toys.  He’s usually woken from a late nap and a little cranky and I find just having him sit and wake up is just what he needs.  So I find myself preparing a hot drink, grabbing the iPad and sitting with him, watching a movie we’ve already seen a dozen times that week alone, giving myself permission because he’s only this age once, and all too soon he might not want to sit and cuddle with mom, watching movies.  I’m coming to realize more and more every day that Brice will probably be my only child, so I have to enjoy it all even more.  Not just because my time with him at each stage is limited, but my time with a child of my own at each stage is just as limited. 

So my word for this year is permission.  I am giving myself permission to do the things I want, be with those I love and take care of myself.  All too often I feel the pull to be in too many places at once doing too much.  I won’t be able to stop all of that, this year is shaping up to be a busy year, but I will give myself permission to take a little time off each day to recharge.  I will stop feeling like I have to fill every minute of every hour with something productive and instead give myself leave to just sit and relax for awhile. 

My Other Bag in Quilts & More

I had some exciting mail this weekend…a copy of the Quilts & More Spring 2011 issue (due to hit shelves this week, I believe). 

Inside, on page 70, you’ll find a pattern by yours truly for my small messenger bag I made a little over a year ago.  I had meant to make it into a pattern to share, but time just got away from me, so I’m glad to know that it’s finally out there for anyone that was interested in making it.

I really love this bag and use it quite frequently when going out to shoot photos.  It holds my lenses, wallet and phone perfectly!  Originally I designed this bag to replace the diaper bag.  After having Brice I seemed to carry that everywhere and never used a purse.  My diaper bag became my purse.  As we were transitioning away from needing to take the bag into stores with us, I found I needed another bag, and thus “My Other Bag” was born. 

I wanted it to be able to hold snacks, travel wipes and a diaper when we were shopping.  By this time we were not using the stroller anymore, so I also needed a bag that was easier to carry when having to chase after the toddler.  Finally, I needed a bag that was easy to get into, yet kept what was inside safe (I’ve always been paranoid about pickpockets).  This little bag answered all my needs.  It holds everything I need, yet keeps it all safe and close to my body. 

(Here is a photo of the original bag I made.)  I love all of the illustrations that have been included to help you make this bag effortlessly.  I think the hardest part of making this bag was cutting all the pieces, otherwise it goes together rather quickly!  Because the base of the bag is a neutral linen, I could see the strap shortened and other kind of accents given to really personalize this as a little satchel for a child.  Brice might need one with some robot fabric I’ve been saving for awhile.